Second Quarter Stormer

a mental maelstrom of thoughts

[wala lang #1]

 ...Yu-yu hakusho endtheme playin' in the background, check...

... Chobits 'character collection' and 'original soundtrack 1' mp3s complete? *2 cds in a day!!!* check...

... see wallet's insides? chec... wait a minute... *sobs*

... a weekend's plan? *rest, red's bday, spend time with dearie, purplehaze this sunday*... check...

... blog update? *check if the banner runs ok, sound check, layout,* chec...k?...duh...

except craving for that 'Reality Bites OST' 10th anniversary edition, i simply just ran out of other things to write about...

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 05:38 | :: slipstream :: | comments (4) |

[how i just wish...]

i kinda missed Rad-x. he's a ragna merchie, and my second one at that. hay i wonder how i could play him again on hours on end, to level up, to gain friends ::and tankers,* weakling merchie kc wehe:: and stuff, like get to be a zeny-llionaire. players say he's "bait" pa *hwaw kuya! thanks po sa limos!!! /kis*. but he's been out from the Midgard scene in 2 weeks now. but he wished to grow. minus the hairstyle and not the haircolor, he wished to look something like this:

mhm. that's a blacksmith. one who forges weapons for other players, and pwede rin for himself. hmm... maybe that axe could go if ever id chose him to be a pure forger ('coz they don't go to battle more often than any other character types.) or maybe have him handle a better weapon if ever he goes to be a battleforger. but i think he DOES look pretty cool, with that open-chest shirt and all *and no, i won't let him handle that cart with ferns and flowers and gurlee stuffee*... my twin knights would pale in comparison to this brute!!! *spams hammerfalls and mammonites around*  

*dang* how i wish i could live to be like that in real life... forgive me. ragna just gave me my dream physique. like i'm so darn thin! wah!!!

---

*tank = let another character/player take all the damages from monsters while one kills it and having the experience points from that monster; the "asa-sa iba" type of ragna play; "pa~" = "weakling po ako;" "tinatamad po ko mag-solo;" "*sana ma-uto kita*;" "*i think i can get you as a date, and have your ASL later wehehe*"

i know, most could not relate to this post... forgive me, forgive me... i just wished for an escape from a very teepid week's start... see, i even edited my banner up there... and i so darn missed ragnarok and midgard... and Rad-x needs to level up, and fast, if he's to be a BS!!! wahhhh....

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 15:54 | :: slipstream :: | comments (2) |

[gang way, im in an expressway to hell again]

ok ako a couple of days ago. no, make it happy. now ganito. why do i hafta live in the shadows of your past everytime? it is as if they're lurking everywhere i turn. i wished this would work. i so darn wished this would work out right. right now, with those shadows lurking in almost every corner, i can't help but to feel so paranoid.

i don't know how to talk about things to you, how i feel, what my real thoughts are, my fears, my apprehensions.i don't feel i have the right; if ever i did have any, like you said you have already gave me, i simply can't feel it, let alone use it...

for today, badtrip ako. don't dare ask why.

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 11:02 | :: slipstream :: | comments (5) |

[the stars seem closer]*

hmm... was friday a long day? i dunno... all i know is that for some, it was a day of mourning. that day some remember what farmers have to face when they assert their rights. talk about bullets in mendiola and democracy, killing 13 people.

i went to hacienda luisita with some people for dinner after mendio. lookin at the dust, i can't imagine myself standing on hallowed grounds, literally soaked with blood. mendiola massacre found its reincarnation here a few months ago. i saw the whole bootleged vid and *oh-my-goodness* i wish to pay tribute to the ground where the victims fell... *san ba sila tumumba ate* *doon ba ung mga snipers?* *ah... ganu po kalayo ung mga pulis tsaka ung APC d2 sa gate na to...* *ay wrecked na ung gate.. may tao pa ba sa loob ng factory?*

dinner with the workers *nope, we had our fill in our van parked a couple of meters away* was something i longed for in a long time. i have been in picketlines a few years back. it felt good to know that you're into a worthy fight. and it's all about rights.

these people deserve more than their Php9.50 a day *which translates for a week's work cos they only work for a day* and someone out there deserves to pay these people, who made that diamond ring sparkle in the limelight by paying it off with their blood and sweat, what they truly deserve.

for me, the stars that flickered in that Tarlac nightsky seemed far more beautiful than any diamond.

because i know it shines for the people...

---

i had a very special night last night. down Greenbelt, i went out with someone i knew for only a couple of weekends ago. i have to meet her. it was the only time in a week where we can have the chance to do so.

she met with her college friends. SMSes say she wished for me to be there with her, but she had doubts -- what if i feel out of place in their company? i still came anyway, and, holding her hand, i simply said, "i wanna see you be yourself"

so there she was... laughing with her friends. i just took the backseat while enjoyin some drinks, and later on some of the guys who went to that party. looking around, i remembered GB and the 'me' who used to roam around its alleys at certain times all wasted and wounded and wallowing in pure cynicism with everything.

and then, i found myself staring at her... i know, rica peralejo just passed by, and people would say otherwise, but i found her so beautiful... and i had an instant crush for her then and there.

it was a quaint walk home. maybe the ginpom hit something *i know it isn't enough for this alcoholic* we talked for a while near the GB chapel, the place where we first met. exchanged ideas. experiences. it was our first heart-to-heart talk...

then she noticed a tear run down my cheek... she asked if there's something wrong while wiping the tear away, saying sorry as endless as if a litany.

i said no... everything was beautiful. and i thanked her for giving me that night... she made it so beautiful... all because she was beautiful...

and under that starlit sky, we kissed...

*from the poem "the stars seem closer to them" by vince borneo (~trip, the philippine collegian's literary folio)

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 05:40 | :: slipstream :: | comments |

[sing-a-long one]

everyone have their particular song for a particular someone. those words and melodies that touch a particular spot somewhere in our innards.

i had Urbandub for breakfast today, and posted some of their lyrics *which turned out to be their hits* on Friendster BB (if you're a friend, you might have stumbled on it -- 'course they will be out in a couple a days depending on how many BBs your active friends could post there)

and oh, since tig-kanta ako today, this Switchfoot song found its way into my vast mp3 collection and WMP playlist earlier. this one's for you dearie... Ü

---

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

~Learning to Breathe, Switchfoot

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 05:09 | :: slipstream :: | comments (2) |

[dreams are made...]

...just had a couple of dreamscapes these past few days. on a particular person i used to know. nothing much, except that we seem to be in good terms while in that dream sequence, when in real life we should never be.

i dunno. if its really a portent of things, i should take it as a hint, a warning, a caveat or anything for that matter to look in the future more cautiously.

i am happy now. please. just don't ruin my parade because it's just starting new.

and i have grandiose dreams to make this new one last.

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 03:13 | :: slipstream :: | comments |

[hirit]

 dang anghirap ayusin nitong mga new templates.

will link u up guys. soon as i get to hold this darned xhtml (na ata to) code.

tagboard is waaaaaay down below.....

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 14:15 | :: slipstream :: | comments |

[word twister]

how can you tell if someone's telling you an honest remark?

i asked that to a schoolmate-turned-textmate who i got to bump somewhere a few nights past. i dunno, for everything that have happened these days, i guess it was the most pertinent thing i have now.

telling the truth was never an easy thing. never. unless you know it could mean into something. heck, even if it means something, it can't be easily said.

words. phrases. praises. like "i want to be with you." "you're cute." "i kinda liked you way back." "i miss you so much i want to be there." those things. simple yet anghirap maintindihan. specially with those you say it to. dang.

everything has reasons? guess so. you have your own. i have mine.

where will words and intentions meet then?

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 13:59 | :: slipstream :: | comments (1) |

[portentiously up and about]

haha, another year has passed. checked my body... nope, no wrist slash, no noose-bruised neck, no broken bones, no stab wounds and no punch bruises (coming from that christmas brawl we had). im alive. still. goodness how i found myself to live on to this year after a tormentous year. wish i was washed away with that tsunami, but hey, i got no resources to surf to Bali...

i just joked to a friend when he asked me where have i been the past months. "Well," i said, "i was washed here by the tsunami. niluwa ako ng dagat. yaw nya ko, bitter kasi. `balik na daw ako dito."

harharhar... funnee...

---

funny how i find that SMS do wonders. as i found out. there was a chatmate i last SMSed feb last year SMSing me this christmas, and we hit it big time (i guess). this one's a hopeful (and better keep my fingers crossed here.) from another one? hmm... well, i guess i was so swept away that i found myself pushed too far away too fast too soon. hope she makes a clear message some time soon. some even came from past acquaintances. of course there are some who came from recent acquaintances.

but the most bigtime was when i SMSed x-gf's father. one was last christmas, the other this new year's eve. they still got my number, i soon found out.

they missed me. daw. a tear jerked last christmas eve because of that. how i missed that family...

if i wasn't sick that new year's eve i might have gotten my two feet do the hustlin and do a roadtrip up north just to greet them personally. but not x-gf of course. spare me.

---

goodness how time can fly, and buzz at your ear when you're sleeping. woke up at about past 2AM, and was restless since then, switching from MTV to the radio and back, listening to crappy hiphop tunes to pure RAWKENRAWLL stuffy (headtripped on KJWAN's 'Daliri', Kitchie's 'Wag na Wag', Sponge Cola's 'Lunes', UrbanDub's 'New Tattoo', and OMG!!! green day's 'boulevard of broken dreams' played again on MTV).

and i find it funny, because i woke up from a dream. and a funny one at that.

you ever get to have those dreams when you think everything's really happening? yup, those lot. and it was about a girl. check that: lady. nah, 'mother' will suit her just fine. it was about me having a grandiose time stuck in a chair lounging in midgard when my crappy old ketai rang for a message. it jus said 'hi, musta na' -- u know the usual crappy message -- but then again, it hit me. i replied. she did. we exchanged. and was about to meet up. i dunno what hit me, but we sure hit it great and agreed to meet up. sooner or later i was having fits and sweat running to and from stores because another crappy message appeared -- CHECK OPERATOR SERVICES.

dammit. why would i wind up and about with this thing? a portent again? hope not.

what a way to start the year...

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 01:59 | :: slipstream :: | comments |

[older]

"The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul." -- GK Chesterton

this is one of the few SMS i received today, the first day of the year (thanks r). and for once, i let it pass through my senses.

it was one hell of a year, 2004. and when the new rooster crowed the first wee hours of the year, i have a strangest of feelings that this will be a great year.

no, i have let all other thoughts pass me by. i won't let things bug my year anymore. gone are those days. im older now. and (hopefully) much wiser.

happy new year everyone. welcome to my new home. feel free to barge in.

Sirocco blew away RaDiX4EvEr at 13:19 | :: slipstream :: | comments |

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